If there’s one word which we’d all love to feel, it’s this!
Confidence. Am I right?!
We all need it too. A lack of it can lead to negative thoughts and low self-esteem, which are tricky to get rid of.
On the contrary, high self-confidence equals better performance and high self-esteem, leading to better results long term.
When we’re confident, we ask for what we want without shying away. We step into a challenging situation with our heads held high, and no matter the outcome, we know we’ll be OK.
It gives us a firm base in ourselves. If we come across a particular situation which makes us uncomfortable, we stride on through anyway regardless of what anyone says or does to us.
What is Confidence?
A person pushes in front of you in the queue?
It’s not a problem when you’ve got full confidence in yourself.
Most of us agree on what confidence looks like, despite it meaning different things to different people.
-Maintaining eye contact even in a challenging situation
-Walking into a room knowing you can handle anything
-Standing up for yourself and your values
-Full trust in yourself and your abilities
Confidence isn’t that complex either.
Nor is it out of your reach.
It’s simply the last point in that list. Being aware of and embracing your own abilities.
It’s a powerful tool that can be used to remove negative self-talk and escape difficult situations.
It’s also a state of mind where new challenges are embraced, not avoided. Confidence is a firm belief in yourself that “I’ve Got This No Matter What”.
On the contrary, low self-confidence is a feeling of not being able to do things your way.
Not having your voice or your own stand for yourself.
People who struggle with their self confidence often experience low mood, doubt their own ability, and don’t chase after new things.
So, if you want to boost your own self confidence, read on.
(There’s no secrets to being confident, by the way. It’s available to everyone!)
Confidence = Competence
I got this confidence = competence thing from Mel Robbins and spent a whole month coaching my clients on the topic.
In a nutshell, what it means is you can’t be confident at something unless you’re competent in it.
Now you’re probably asking “How can I be competent in life?”
And it’s a valid question. Successful people develop a feeling of trust in themselves.
It comes down to “Do I trust myself here?”
If there’s a lack of self-confidence then it’s likely there’s a lack of trust coming from within.
Building trust in yourself takes time, because it’s taken a lifetime to not appreciate your own powers.
Society pummels us, our schooling, our parents when we’re children. It all adds up. Which is why there’s no time to waste to begin changing this for yourself.
It doesn’t happen automatically just to clarify, so it’s worth putting in some hard work to build up the trust in yourself. Confidence really does come into everything, particularly around decision making, and having a clear head for going after a good thing.
To start trusting yourself more, challenge yourself to make some decisions.
This is the first thing. The tiniest decision you make can immediately boost your confidence. Or even better, choose something! Or even better, commit to something!
Do any of these things just because you can, and the more you do this, the more confident you’ll become in life.
Regarding the competence thing, it makes sense that the more you practise, the more confident you’ll become, so that’s what that’s about.
As a side note, the first time doing anything is always scary, but that same feeling of nerves or tingles in your tummy can also signal excitement!
Therefore, if you feel the nerves coming on, tell yourself you’re excited, and it may help you handle it!
If you’re keen on the self development scene, you’ll know about the comfort zone and growth mindset, but for the rest of us, simply escaping the routine norm will improve your confidence.
Challenge yourself to walk a slightly different route today, or visit a different shop for a new experience. Smile at a stranger, and if you don’t get a smile back, their loss! Shrug it off and know that you’ve been a good person there.
I know it can seem impossible right now to get outside the comfort zone with the pandemic (ugh), but you just need to be creative with it.
Can you call someone you’ve not spoken to for a while?
Can you cook a new meal you’ve never made before?
Can you do something romantic for your partner, like pop a little love note in their sandwiches?
The answers are YES! And as a result, your confidence levels will blossom and your sense of self will go through the roof. Self-confident people practise confidence boosting things daily, just like those listed above.
Visualise being confident
Visualise yourself stepping out of not being confident and into being confident. You could imagine confidence as a new outfit to try on as an example. Simply try imagining it. Take off that low confidence outfit and try on the confidence outfit!
How would it feel?
How would you look?
What would you do if you were more confident?
What would you act like?
So often we run automatically, based on decades of repeated behaviour, so by visualising something different we initiate a spark which could be the change we’re looking for.
Have fun with this visualisation. It’s meant to be enjoyable.
- Confidence = competence.
- Push outside the zone of normalness.
- Visualise being confident.
You can also spend some time journaling on the topic of confidence.
Journaling is something I always advocate for any struggle in life. Whether it’s mental health, positive thinking or simply life getting on top of us, journaling offers a solution.
Here’s to more confidence!
Now challenge yourself (make that phone call!) and pop a comment below, sharing how it was for you! Also, read this post about improving on yourself to take your confidence to the next level!